3. Divert your attention
Rather than getting caught up in thoughts about the foods that you’re missing out on, try to pay attention to the benefits of choosing foods that give you longer-lasting pleasure, energy, fulfillment, and are the least likely to bring on unwanted symptoms.
4. Accept what is out of your control
While hearing you need to ‘just accept’ your food intolerances can be infuriating, ultimately, you are better off accepting things you can’t change and moving on, rather than getting caught up in fighting the reality of having IBS and gut health issues.
Reframing how you ‘just accept it’ might help you see your gut health and symptoms in a new way. You could try rewording it to:
drop the struggle
let it be
breathe into it
give it some space
stop fighting it
make room for it
it is what it is.
Give yourself some space to notice the feelings that arise and acknowledge that, yes, IBS and food intolerance can be hard to ‘just accept’.
Be prepared
You can’t eat food you don’t have access to, right?
You’re much more likely to order takeout or eat something your gut won’t be happy about if your kitchen isn’t stocked with the right foods.
Take a few minutes to consider your habits for meal planning, budgeting, shopping lists, regular grocery shopping, bulk prepping, using leftovers, and so on. You need to make it as easy as possible to feel organized and on top of your food and eating behaviors. Reaching out to a dietitian or nutritionist can help you better understand what to eat, but also how to rethink your eating and cooking habits as a whole.
While you might know your triggers and have a good grasp of your intolerances, this won’t stop well-meaning friends and family from pushing you to go against your better judgment, telling you, “Oh go on, just a little bit won’t hurt.”
While it can feel like you’re being pressured to eat foods you’re not comfortable with, it’s likely they have good intentions, such as they want to be a good host if you’re sharing a meal in their home or they don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out.
Instead of lashing out or caving in and eating foods you’d rather not, try these responses the next time you’re feeling pressured and uncomfortable:
“I really appreciate that you care, you’re so generous, but if I eat that I’ll feel uncomfortable later and I don’t think you want me to feel unwell.”
“Thank you, I’d honestly love to taste it, but I’m finding that I’m feeling better without eating [this food] at the moment, thank you.”
“You’re so kind to share, but I’m happy to help myself if I want some later.”
On the other hand, if you’ve been vocal about not eating a certain food but you’ve moved through an elimination diet and are in the stage of reintroducing foods and finding you can tolerate different things, it’s OK to change your mind! You can tell friends and family that you are choosing to eat a formerly restricted food as you’ve been working through your intolerances, sharing as much or as little information as you’re comfortable with.
Adapting to changes
Remember that an intolerance to a FODMAP is not an allergy, but it’s not a deadly disease either. Some bloating and fluctuations in your bowel habits are very normal, and aiming for perfection is unrealistic and often counterproductive.
The majority of people with IBS find they can tolerate a certain amount of high FODMAP foods. However, what that ‘certain amount’ is can vary widely, and it’s best identified through the reintroduction process, which is phase two of the low FODMAP diet.
The other consideration is your tolerance threshold can change over time. It may be worth revisiting the reintroduction process with a dietitian to explore your current tolerances as you may be restricting foods unnecessarily.
Mindful and intuitive eating
Mindful eating and intuitive eating principles encourage us to pay attention with curiosity, and increase our awareness of the eating experience and the body’s physical sensations.
To start, practice pausing before eating, reduce or remove distractions, and pay attention to the look, smell, taste, and texture of food. Then, be curious about how the food feels in your body and learn from each eating experience.
There will be times when perhaps you’re dining out with friends and food envy strikes. You’ll see your friend eating something that looks really appealing, but you’ll tell yourself, ‘That’s off limits for me and I’ll probably feel sick if I try some.’
Getting caught in this mentality can prevent you from experiencing pleasure we get from other senses, like sight, smell, touch, and sound. Try tuning into other sensations you feel in your body: how does the food smell? Is that a pleasant sensation? How does it look?
The Wrap Up
It can be daunting to think you might never get to enjoy your favorite foods again if you know you have dietary intolerances. But there are steps you can take to rethink your restrictive habits and start creating a long-term plan. You can learn how to create a more flexible relationship with food, practice self-compassion to start letting go of what your gut just won’t tolerate, get a food prep system in place to help you side step flare-ups, learn to navigate difficult food-based conversations, and try mindful, intuitive eating.
About Molly Warner, APD
Molly Warner is an Accredited Practicing Dietitian, Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor, and Credential Eating Disorder Clinician. She helps people who struggle with gut health and dieting issues to navigate food intolerances and heal their relationship with food so they can feel calm inside, confident with food choices and ultimately, satisfied. Living with Coeliac Disease, she gets what it’s like to live with dietary restrictions. She’s been there; wanting some help getting into a rhythm of eating that helps the body to function at its best. She is here to guide and empower you to live and eat in a way that frees you from gut symptoms and ‘diet culture’ and truly nourishes your wellbeing.
Contact Molly for IBS management support and guidance
References
Dindo L, Van Liew JR, Arch JJ. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: A Transdiagnostic Behavioral Intervention for Mental Health and Medical Conditions. Neurotherapeutics. 2017;14(3):546-553. doi:10.1007/s13311-017-0521-3
Mann T, Ward A. Forbidden fruit: does thinking about a prohibited food lead to its consumption?. Int J Eat Disord. 2001;29(3):319-327. doi:10.1002/eat.1025
Carpenter S. That gut feeling. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/09/gut-feeling. Published 2012. Accessed July 26, 2022.
Seppala E. The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion. The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, Stanford Medicine. http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/the-scientific-benefits-of-self-compassion-infographic/. Published 2014. Accessed October 6, 2022.
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